Feeling lonely at work? Try building your social fitness
By Nell Geraets
For some, an office could be buzzing with people, yet still feel like a lonely void.
Loneliness in the workplace is a growing problem, with 69 per cent of employees globally reporting dissatisfaction with their social connections at work, according to a 2022 survey conducted by coaching platform BetterUp. Meanwhile, a nationally representative survey of 4000 adults found those aged 18-24 and 45-54 – a large portion of the working population – are the loneliest in the country.
Work can feel like a lonely space sometimes, but building your social fitness can revolutionise your workday.Credit: iStock
Many organisational psychologists believe the key to solving loneliness in the workplace is to build and maintain social fitness. But what exactly is social fitness and how can we strengthen it at work?
What is social fitness?
Social fitness is closely tied to social health. Dr Melissa Wheeler, a senior lecturer in business administration at RMIT, defines social health as the positive sense of fulfillment gained from spending quality time with others. It involves feelings of belonging, closeness, trust and affiliation.
Social fitness is the act of strengthening social health. “Like physical fitness, you have to build up your social muscles through exercise and practice. This is how we break those solitary routines that many of us have developed.”
As social creatures, flexing this “muscle” has always been crucial. Xiaoqi Feng, a professor of urban health and environment at UNSW, says that from an evolutionary perspective, collaboration and feelings of belonging are intertwined with survival.
“Loneliness is an adaptive signal we’ve developed to prompt us to reconnect because to feel isolated and alone once likely meant starvation and death.”
Socialising at work stresses me out. Why?
COVID-19 lockdowns paired with technological advancements have meant many workplaces are leaning into remote forms of work, stripping some employees of the opportunity to connect with colleagues, Wheeler says. Job intensification, such as higher standards and expectations from superiors, has also meant some don’t feel they have time to socialise during the workday, or that it isn’t considered a productive use of their time.
This is particularly the case for Gen Z, says organisational psychologist Dr Amanda Ferguson.
“Most Gen Z employees have never spent extended periods in face-to-face working environments and are facing disadvantages when it comes to soft skills, networking and community-building opportunities.”
So, how can I get socially fit at work?
Harvard-trained social scientist Kasley Killam developed the 5-3-1 framework for social fitness, which entails:
- Connecting with five colleagues a week
- Maintaining at least three close relationships at work
- Getting one hour of quality connection time each workday
Both Ferguson and Wheeler support Killam’s model but warn this may be daunting for some, especially if you’re more introverted. Ferguson suggests beginning by showing up to your communal workspace at least three days a week, thereby simply increasing the amount of time spent around colleagues.
Once you’re comfortable, you can begin spending more quality time with workmates in group settings, or perhaps organising meetings to discuss work projects face-to-face.
It doesn’t always have to be in-person, Wheeler notes. “Set a reminder to send a thank-you message to someone each Thursday, for example. It may seem artificial, but it’s about breaking unconscious patterns with conscious effort.”
Regularly organising lunches with colleagues or face-to-face project-planning meetings can help build your social fitness over time.Credit: Davide Zanin - stock.adobe.com
Choosing creative tasks or activities can also encourage you to socialise more often. “Set a lunch date,” Wheeler says. “Perhaps go to a museum or have a walking meeting. It doesn’t have to be the traditional one-on-one conversation that can sometimes make people uncomfortable.”
What if I don’t work in an office?
For those who don’t work in traditional office spaces, such as gig workers, Wheeler suggests consciously socialising at work-themed events outside the work environment.
“You could look for professional associations or organised networking events, just finding opportunities locally in your community to be involved,” Wheeler says. “Once you start joining things, you’ll be added to mailing lists and get invites to other free networking events. If you plan who you’re going to talk to, or the topics you could cover, you won’t feel caught off guard. So, try to have an agenda, a goal.”
Happy employees, happy employers
When employees feel socially fit, Ferguson says they’re generally more engaged and productive. It also reduces burnout, turnover and absenteeism.
Loneliness is estimated to cost $2.7 billion in annual economic costs, Feng says, not only because of its links to depression, anxiety, heart disease and other complications that result in time off work but also to unemployment, reduced earnings and the onset of disability. It’s therefore in a company’s interest to foster spaces in which social health is prioritised.
“Unfortunately, the focus on social fitness puts the emphasis on the individual, as if loneliness is somehow a personal failure to be corrected. What is needed are bold, visionary leaders at all levels of organisations to transform workplaces and nurture feelings of belonging for all their colleagues.”
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