I lost my dream job after my boss revoked my flexible working arrangements

Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on the workplace, career and leadership in her advice column “Got a Minute?” This week: forgotten flexible work arrangements, a frustrating colleague, and workplace favouritism.

I ended my job with the agreement of my employer after some issues with my flexible work arrangements. In my return to the office post-COVID, it was conveniently forgotten that I had already negotiated a range of formally documented and informal arrangements. When I tried to formalise the informal arrangements, they were rejected. Upon realising they had broken the law, my employer offered me a severance package. I have since started a new job, but I find myself fairly traumatised by what happened. I miss the role and the people I worked with. How do I move forward with gratitude for what I had, rather than bitterness over how it ended?

Part of reframing your experience might be to think about how fortunate you were to have several years that allowed you to work flexibly, gain additional work experience and have the opportunity to understand the work priorities that are important to you. All of these factors will have set you up well for the future.

It is sometimes helpful to try and think about your situation from a distant perspective: what would you say to a close friend who went through the same experience? How would you help them process it and what advice would you give them on embracing the future? It is natural to feel a little bruised by what happened, but that will not serve you well if you let it impact your chance of success in your new role. Feeling fulfilled and finding enjoyment in your new work and new colleagues is your priority now. There is no reason you can’t stay in touch with your former work friends on a social basis and build new friendships at your current workplace too. Let this experience add to your life rather than take away what you once had.

A member of our teaching team shows little capacity to regulate their involvement in issues that don’t involve them. They talk loudly over the top of more experienced colleagues and undermine us by forming friendships with students in a way that isn’t against the rules but is still too familiar. Our manager has spoken to them, but they say “Oh yes, others in the past have pointed this out, but it’s just what I’m like!” and nothing changes. We are all frustrated at their belief that they are the smartest person in the room, whereas, in reality, they are simply the loudest. What can we do?

We all know those colleagues who are overly familiar and have to give their two cents on every discussion. They think being a leader is about being the most popular and as you mention, undermine relationships in doing so. If the manager can’t actively manage this person and coach them to change, you and your colleagues have very little chance of influencing them either.

Your manager needs to step up since they are continuing to tolerate the behaviour even though it is harming the broader team. If you don’t think your manager is aware of the impact this person is having, you can go to them again and ask that action be taken. If there is no change, again, your manager needs to explain the specific changes they expect to see from this person, and by when. The manager should record these feedback sessions and meet with the person again to discuss any changes they have observed.

My partner is an experienced public servant who is currently on several orders of merit for a higher grade. In her team, someone is acting in a higher-grade role on an ongoing basis. The person isn’t up to the job but has been appointed by the team leader, who is also their good friend. My partner and several others are frustrated by this cronyism. My partner will not make any formal representations about this, believing that complainants always come off as second best. What can be done?