‘It was hard for me to be open about my sexuality’: Narelda Jacobs
By Jane Rocca
Narelda Jacobs is a journalist, best known for her work with SBS, NITV and Network Ten. Here, the 48-year-old shares her family history as part of the Stolen Generations, meeting her celebrity crush and her experience coming out.
Credit: Courtesy of SBS and NITV
My maternal grandfather, Douglas, came to Australia from Ireland with his wife and children to work as missionaries. Aboriginal elders in Kalgoorlie have told me they remembered the family fondly. Douglas and my grandmother Evelyn died in the late 1960s, before I was born.
My paternal grandfather, Les Jacobs, was a seasonal worker in the York area of Western Australia. My dad, Cedric, spoke of sitting around the campfire with him, singing and spinning yarns.
Dad was stolen from his family at nine years old under the assimilation policies in the 1950s. He never saw his father again.
Dad is one of six. He was stolen with his two younger brothers and sent to Mogumber Methodist Mission. Dad spoke of being put to work milking cows, chopping wood and mending fences, as Mogumber was a working farm.
Mogumber was the embodiment of racist policy. Dad had a great respect for Superintendent Clarke and his wife, who ran the mission, and Clarke ended up marrying my parents years later.
My mum, Margaret, is of Irish descent. She was the founding pastor of a church for Noongar people of Perth which is where she met my dad. She supported him when he became a reverend in the Uniting Church.
I had a very tight bond with Dad and learnt a lot from him, especially the importance of treating everyone with dignity whether it was the governor or people at the soup kitchen he ran with Mum.
Dad was awarded an MBE in 1981 for his work as chairman of the National Aboriginal Conference and founding pastor of the Aboriginal Evangelical Fellowship of Australia.
I’m the youngest of five girls. Dad must have desperately wanted a boy, but he showered us all with love, even when the fifth girl came out. He told my sisters and me we could anything and taught us all how to drive, ride horses and kick a football.
Jana Wendt was my celebrity crush in the ’80s, and the reason I wanted to be a journo. I got to meet her at the Logies when she was in attendance for a 60 Minutes milestone award. I made a beeline for her and asked for a selfie together.
I started to question the church in my mid-teens. After a childhood of Sundays in the Uniting Church, I followed some of my older sisters into the Pentecostal church. By the age of 16, I stopped going to church altogether.
My parents had homophobic beliefs, making it hard for me to be open about my sexuality. I came out to myself at 19 but told Mum [I was gay] three years later.
After the marriage equality vote was passed in Australia, Dad rang me. I asked him how would he feel if I were to marry. He said, “I want my family to be happy.” It was the only conversation we ever had about my sexuality. Although subtle, it was a sign that my dad’s homophobia had softened.
Without questions, I fell into heteronormative stereotypes as a teenager and I never considered there was another way. When I fell pregnant at 18, I did what was expected of me but it didn’t last. Within the space of two years I was married, had a baby, got divorced and met my first girlfriend, Marion.
I’ve been blessed to have beautiful relationships with women ever since. Marion and I were together for 16 years and she was like a second mother to my daughter Jade. They still have a very close relationship and live near one another. I had two more relationships after that, both with fantastic, gorgeous people.
Karina Natt and I have been dating for a year and a half months. We met in the green room at Q+A when I was a guest and she was working for a senator. We had our first date two years later at World Pride and are committed to one another. We look forward to a long life together.
Narelda Jacobs is the host of 10 News First: Midday and 10 New First: Afternoons. She is also co-host of Big Backyard Quiz, a NITV entertainment special, available to stream now on SBS On Demand.
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correction
A previous version of this article incorrectly stated Narelda Jacobs’ father is one of five. He is one of six. It also incorrectly stated Jacobs’ daughter’s surname was Dalton. It is Dolman.