The fastest way to make bread stale is to put it in the fridge.
When you mix flour and water, the starch molecules gelatinise, meaning they take on water and go from a crystalline form to a soft, sticky paste. After baking, the starch molecules lose water and return to their crystalline structure. This process is hastened rapidly at temperatures just above freezing, such as in a fridge.
You can freeze bread and it will thaw with some staling, but it will be perfect for toasting and cooking. A well-ventilated bread box in a cool place will keep bread well.
Keep "industrial" loaves in the plastic in which they were sold and bakery bread loosely wrapped in paper bags. Clean the bread box often to remove crumbs that may harbour mould spores.
To reduce the effects of staling, dampen bread under running water and place it in an oven at 130C fan-forced (150C conventional) and warm for 10 to 12 minutes.
That is because ciabatta dates back to the time of Tainted Love by Soft Cell, Argentina invading the Falklands, and the release of E.T. The Extraterrestrial.
In other words, ciabatta is only 41 years old. It was developed in 1982 by Italian flour miller Arnaldo Cavallari. He was concerned that Italian bakers were losing business to baguettes imported from France.
He invented a wet dough recipe with high-gluten flour and 15 per cent more water than most bread. While the sloppy dough is somewhat difficult to handle, the extra water evaporates when baked, turning to steam that expands into bubbles captured by the sticky, elastic dough. This leaves a porous crumb but a relatively thin, chewy crust.
In 2015, a 46-year-old Christmas pudding was discovered during a house clearance in the United Kingdom. It was sent to the University of Nottingham's microbiology department to test whether it was still edible.
Steaming the vintage pud for five hours in a pudding bowl had killed any nasty bugs and the amount of sugar and fruit sugar plus alcohol in the dish ensured that no other bacteria could thrive. It was eaten and described as a little dry but still very tasty.
Now, I am not suggesting you start making intergenerational pudding hand-me-downs. But a well-made Christmas pudding, packed down into a bowl to ensure no air gaps and sealed with several layers of cling film and aluminium foil, will last for several years if kept in a cool, dry place such as a linen cupboard or in the fridge.
Send your culinary conundrums and ingredient suggestions to brainfood@richardcornish.com.au or Twitter and Insta @foodcornish.