Similar names, similar packaging, but up to half the price. Good Food blind taste-tests popular chocolates against their imitators, with some surprising results.
The “uncanny valley” phenomenon is that weird feeling you get when a robot looks human, but something’s not quite right. You may also feel the response shopping at Aldi. Forget Wagon Wheels, here’s… the Cart Wheel! In Aldi’s World, Twisties are Cheezy Twists. The Mars Bar is a Titan. M&M’s are the terribly named “Munchers”.
More often than not, the packaging of these replicant products is heavily, er, “inspired” by the original product. It’s a nifty way to shake off the “cheaper is bad” stigma home-brands can attract. Take the Titan, for example. It’s clearly not a Mars, but the bright red-on-black label lets you know that a slab of nougat, caramel and milk chocolate lies beneath.
(In this respect, the Titan isn’t dissimilar to McDowell’s, the McDonald’s look-a-like where Eddie Murphy mops floors in Coming to America. “They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs,” says store owner Cleo McDowell in the 1988 movie. “They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick”.)
But. Could the impostors taste better than the real thing? Or even almost as good, for half the price? Good Food went beneath the wrapper of seven chocolate-based confectioneries to find out. All products were taste-tested blind, before the eye-mask was removed for closer analysis. The main takeaway? Aldi’s Cart Wheel leaves the Wagon in the dust.
Wagon Wheels: $5 for 190g (8 biscuits)
Cart Wheels: $2.99 for 200g (8 biscuits)
Remember that 1989 commercial with the little French snail telling us all to “eeet le Wagon Wheel”? That snail had no idea what it was on about. The Wagon Wheel has always been an overrated chocolate-covered marshmallow and jam sandwich, even before Arnott’s bought the brand from Westons in 2003. The jam is insipid; the biscuit, grainy. Aldi’s Cart Wheel (excellent name) leaves it in the dust. It has better biscuit integrity by a considerable margin, the raspberry jam actually tastes like jam and the marshmallow middle bit isn’t too sweet and overpowering. A very agreeable afternoon snack.
Winner: Aldi
Mars: $6 for 192g (12 pieces)
Titan: $3.29 for 216g (12 pieces)
Aldi’s Titan caused an online hullabaloo when a member of the Old Shops Australia Facebook group claimed its Mars supremacy in 2022, so expectations were high. And … it’s fine. Slightly flatter than a Mars, but still full of chewy nougat and caramel. The chocolate could be better quality though − it has that cloying, back-of-the-throat heat, like a discount bin Easter egg. The flavours of an actual Mars are more balanced, and the outer chocolate cracks on your teeth in a satisfying way.
Winner: Mars
Kinder: $6 for 200g (16 bars)
Choceur: $3.99 for 200g (11 bars)
Admittedly, I haven’t been seven years old for a number of decades, and may not be the target market for finger-sized bars of Kinder Chocolate. Nevertheless, Aldi’s Choceur has an interior of perfectly acceptable white chocolate, with a texture that’s almost gooey but not quite. It tastes cheap, sure, but you can’t say it tastes bad. The real-deal Kinder has a flavour that may remind you of Milo, but the texture isn’t quite as smooth. This was a close one, but ...
Winner: Aldi
M&M’s: $6 for 180g
Munchers: $2.99 for 180g
The best tasting knock-off M&M’s were the ones that used to rattle about in the chocolate Humpty Dumpty stocked by supermarkets at Easter. I’ve been chasing that taste for decades (Cadbury’s modern Humpty doesn’t quite cut it), and was excited to try Aldi’s version of the form. Could this be the impostor Smartie I’ve been looking for? No. There’s an oily taste to the chocolate, the shell is too brittle and the colours are muted. M&M’s have a crisp sugar coating that’s satisfying on your teeth (albeit terrible for your dental health) and simple, inoffensive chocolate. The quest continues.
Winner: M&M’s
Bounty: $2.20 for 56g (two 28g bars)
Romeo: $3.29 for 180g (12 pieces)
I don’t mind a Bounty every now and again, but let’s be honest. It’s just a stunted Cherry Ripe without the best bits. Romeo’s desiccated coconut needs to be worked into the filling a little better − the texture borders on “sandy”. Meanwhile, the Bounty’s chocolate is denser and smoother, and although the coconut isn’t quite as gravelly, it’s a close call. The original beats the phantom by a nose.
Winner: Bounty
KitKat: $6 for 154g (11 pieces)
Double Time: $3.29 for 180g (9 pieces)
The Double Time is a boring chocolate. There’s a bit of crunch, but not the satisfying bite I’ve come to expect from an actual KitKat. Like those pink wafer biscuits loved by Australian and English grandmothers, I’m not even sure it should be classified as food. The original has a higher snap factor, and the taste isn’t anywhere near as cloying as other fast-moving consumer chocolates. It’s a KitKat − you either like it or you love it.
Winner: KitKat
Tim Tam: $3.99 for 200g (11 biscuits)
Just Divine: $2.29 for 200g (11 biscuits)
Even the most intense Tim Tam fans would be hard-pressed to tell these two apart. The three-bite bars are almost identical in size and shape. Aldi’s Just Divine tastes almost identical to a Tim Tam too, but with a cheaper chocolate taste that’s not too far removed from Coco Pops. The original has a thicker layer of ganache-y centre, and that layer tastes more like caramel. Regardless of its supremacy in this battle, I maintain the so-called “biscuit of a nation” needs more vigorous bite. It’s no Kingston.
Winner: Tim Tam
With Bianca Hrovat
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